.....This 'GOD' that you seek to serve out there somewhere....
At some point in your journey you begin to realize that this god is you... In you.... In everyone. Its that same god that has always been "there", only now your quest, your seeking drives you inward...(?) Yes...
This god you are absorbed by, that you cannot deny, that you can't shake.... this need to know GOD.... is coming from deep, deep inside you. And from no where else!
It is a major turning point in one's journey when they realize this, and in some cases give themselves permission to believe this.
Its more than just "god is in me, god is in everyone". That moment when you begin to realize just what that means and has meant for all this time... That you ARE god. And so is everyone else.
The people that frustrate you the most...? God.
The homeless people.... God
The asshole that cut you off in traffic, the old people that don't grasp the enormity of the current world and have no clue that they are holding up traffic on an ENTIRE MAJOR ROADWAY just because they're stuck in 1950 when things were much simpler and no one was in a hurry... why should they be...? All god....
Have you ever looked a homeless person in the eyes?
Why are they...?
Have you ever realized you could be standing in their shoes? Why aren't you? Why don't you?
Do you love them? Do you care?
That moment of compassion that makes your heart bleed, maybe even break.... But why does it?
When you get to that point, your first instinct is you wanna DO something!!
You wanna help them!
But think about it... They're not jobless and homeless and showerless because they're lazy and want a handout. If it was that simple don't you think ALL YOUNG PEOPLE would choose to be homeless!? Think about it!
These people are homeless because they can't work. They can't hold a job and sometimes can't even hold a conversation, at least not for very long, and not coherently.
Drugs?
Ah yes.... blame everything on drugs. Ok then why the drugs?
What happened to them!?!? Why can they no longer function? Put yourself in their place now.
What happens if you start to slip? What happens when you can't afford to fix yourself? It's not always like the commercials. Thousands of people slip thru the cracks every day. What if it was your turn, circumstances beyond your control, you feel yourself drowning.... sinking... slipping away. But you don't die. You live. Somewhere. Out there. You can't remember. You're hungry. You can't remember ever feeling so thirsty. You have to use the bathroom. Now what........ Who loves you? How many years have you been out there? How far gone are you?
In that moment, you can't fix them. Its not that easy.
How then do you love them? What can you do for them?
Nothing. You can do nothing... but truly love them. You can't change their life. But you can accept them. Give them some coins... some food. There are no programs, no methods, no remedies for these.
In order to fix them, you have to find and fix every little thing that made them.
They are a sign. The part of god that forces you out of your comfort zone.
They are soldiers. They hold a place in our world that we cringe to consider.
It's much easier to blame them, ridicule them, judge them and call them names.
But they are you.
And at this suggestion you protest, "If I were in their shoes I'd do something to improve myself!!!"
Then why do you think it is that they don't do the same?
Do you think that they've never thought of 'something better'?
Have you ever had experience with someone whose capacity is not the same as yours?
If you are a very efficient, skilled, achieved person, then I imagine you get very frustrated with incompetence.
I imagine that you assume that YOU worked hard to become so accomplished and if everyone else did the same, there'd be no homeless people.
Ok, your mind and body is sound. You are blessed. But what if you had a child... with Down Syndrome? Cerebral Palsy? Dyslexia? Autism? You can be the shit and control everything in your environment.... But you can't control that. And you can't judge your own child for being born in a challenged state.
What if your life threw you a curve that you could NOT gain control of?
Have you ever been overwhelmed? Out of your league?
Is your competence and achievement for your personal gain alone? Why do you suppose you are so adept at navigating life while others seem to just suck at it!?
What do you do with those...?
What do you do with those you cannot change...? Like your Autistic daughter... Your Father who has been strong, healthy and self sufficient all his life... and then begins to develop Alzheimer's...
You feel that threshold... That line.... That marker within yourself that has to decide to "love" rather than "fix". If you can't fix them.... What do you do then...?
You accept them. You accept that you can love the unfixable. That is god. Acceptance.
Thats ultimately all anybody wants.
God is you.
To seek god after a certain point in your journey means that you are seeking you... the real you.
Who are you really.... ?
That moment when you are stricken with awe or beauty or amazement.... and you look up to share that moment with someone nearby and you realize.... you're alone. Is that moment still beautiful? Can you stand there alone and feel that moment and appreciate it without an audience?
In this moment, you are. And that's it.
You do nothing.
You reach your hand out and accomplish nothing. You did nothing to create this moment of awe and yet there you are in it.
You can't take any credit, but you can feel. You are filled with feelings! You're not thinking, or figuring, or sorting anything out....
You are simply struck in a moment of experience.
What shall you do with it...?
What shall you do but experience it.... feel it...? What is that moment worth to you?
You cannot replicate it. You cannot share it - no one's there.
You can neither cure their insanity.
But you can feel compassion. You can feel acceptance.
What you've been taught about responsibility is mostly a lie.
Responsibility is that moment when you decide. That moment when you choose.
You are responsible for your choices. To love, to judge, to criticize, to accept, to give.... to feel what's right and allow it to be. To experience a moment one day that may cause you to wonder if there's not something much bigger than you going on in the universe...
Unconditional love....
It's rare.
It's pricey.
It's everything "free", "god", "peace", "heaven".... everything you ever longed for.
Love is the answer.
Love has no conditions, is not attached to anything, has no requirements, no strings, no expectations.
Love has no needs, no wants, no success and no failure.
To love the unlovable.
To love the unfixable.
There are thousands of people with thousands of very workable solutions to the ills of our world. And for every viable solution there are a thousand more people who do not agree. They see another side of the situation that causes them to feel differently. Everyone can't be wrong and everyone can't be right.
So what do you do?
Whatever you want to do.
And that's what we've always done.
And so here we are.
Now it comes down to just you.
What do you want to do?
It's not my choice to make. And my opinion doesn't make one bit of difference. Unless you needed to hear it....
But only you know that.
