I Suffer

I suffer because I find no meaning.....

I can endure indignities, challenges, abuses and deprivations if I know that they have meaning.
Would Buddhism contend that this is ego?? (I'm pretty sure that's a YES...)

Is there a school of thought, a movement of energy, that contends for "integration"?
The integrating of spirit and material into the "perfecting" of the world we now experience...
And is "integration" (as opposed to separation of spirit and material, or escapism of the material world) a work of light? Or a work of darkness?
Enter consciousness.
Are we considered, or rather are we, "conscious" if we are outside the material world? 

Alive, yes. But conscious........ ???
There are stories in the bible.... Jesus dealing with demons or unclean spirits... These "spirits" or energies seemed to really wanna stay "material".... Why.

Is there a competition of sorts.... a WAR even.... over, not "mankind" but over MATERIALIZATION!?

Many worlds, many civilizations, there's no way we could be the only ones in the Universe.....
Are we ? ? ? ? ?
Are we the only fully integrated, "MATERIALIZED" society of beings....?

Why would there be a war for this?
What are the benefits of being materialized?
What are the advantages?

The five senses.
Can the non-material feel in any manner so as to give meaning to their existence??
Can the non-material enjoy their existence?
Why a material creation.... !!! ???
?? To EXPERIENCE ?? ???
Experience what and why..... ?

Is it simply ego to desire/need meaning?
Some suggest that ALL desire is ego.
Some suggest that all desire (ego?) is to be disengaged... done away with.
Then what's the purpose for existence??

Is THE WAR over ego?? 

Over ego and not over materialization....?
But therein poses the factor - Ego is materialization!
Nothing is materialized without ego..... ??? No? Yes?

I once wrote that the "key" to materialization was ego - that spot, that step, that fine line between spirit and mind that......creates!!!
Is this how it works? I simply speculate...

And why don't we remember???
Pain can cause "Alzheimer's" whether it be pathological or not... Things too painful to remember.... The "self" protects its existence by "forgetting". But if we re-incarnate, if our identity, our energy signature re-enters this world.... why do we not remember our cumulative experiences ? Or at least, why do we not remember more?
Why are we not afforded any sense of continuity for ourselves?
Ancient writings say some used to live hundreds of years.... Don't tell me they didn't remember their youth!
And yet what is a memory..... But a feeling. A feeling! A memory is worthless if it is a mere "fact" from the past. 
There is no one alive here today to contend for the events or facts of Columbus' first meeting with Native Americans. We have words written on papers and take these as "fact". How do we know these are true and accurate!? And why do we care? How do these "facts" make us feel?? Most would feel nothing. Because it is not a memory.
Memory requires feeling. Emotion. Recalling previously transpired events is simply mechanical language. Not memory. 

My childhood.... that is a memory. Because I may not remember the actual birth, but everything else attached to the events of my childhood are directly related to me whether I recall details in a mechanical fashion or not. It is mine. My experience. I feel it as I think about those past events. Memories.

And if we do away with all "attachments" for the sake of it being "attached"..... then we remember nothing. We become vegetables. Alive but only to reproduce the facts - DNA. Which is technically life. With no consciousness. No memory. No desire.

Sorry Buddhists. I guess I love my ego.
Sorry Christians. I guess I love my flesh.
Sorry Atheists. I guess I... believe in god.
And sorry self. I am a renegade taking my half always down the middle, reeking havoc on our sanity, never quite sure which side is which and why I need to be in only one lane at a time...

I suffer..... Until I find meaning.......

The Human Virus

I  feel as if the world is winding down.  Coming to an end.

I feel a cataclysmic struggle to stand firm against the storm and the onslaught of darkness and evil.

I had an image of how the earth is indeed infected with a disease, a virus - the illusion of evil.

How do we, the living host, who is one with the earth and the heavens, rid ourselves of this virus?!

It became quite literal in my head.  Quite obvious.  All the symptoms match the profile of a virus.

How would we deal with a virus in our own body?

There is no simple "cure" for a virus.  You either ride it out until it passes if its mild, or you kill it if its severe.  And killing it often times means damaging the healthy parts of your body as well as the virus.  

So what do you do..... ? ? ?

A good start would be to study Virus.

Viral populations do not grow through cell division, because they are a

-

cellular

 (the have no cells)

. Instead, they use the machinery and metabolism of a host cell to produce multiple copies of themselves, and they assemble in the cell.

 

Opinions differ on whether viruses are a form of life, or organic structures that interact with living organisms. They have been described as "organisms at the edge of life", since they resemble organisms in that they possess genes and evolve by natural selection, and reproduce by creating multiple copies of themselves through self-assembly. Although they have genes, they do not have a cellular structure, which is often seen as the basic unit of life. Viruses do not have their own metabolism, and require a host cell to make new products. They therefore cannot naturally reproduce outside a host cell – although bacterial species such as rickettsia and chlamydia are considered living organisms despite the same limitation.

  

Accepted forms of life use cell division to reproduce, whereas viruses spontaneously assemble within cells. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virus

A virus cannot "activate" outside another living organism.  It can "exist" in tact, but it cannot do anything  without a living host.  Its only function in this world is to overtake living cells.  Weak attempts to kill virus only cause it to mutate and become stronger.  If you don't know what you're doing you only make it worse!

Believe it or not, new research shows that viruses can be killed..... with LIGHT!

 

If that does not demonstrate to you how the "material" is a reflection of the psycho\emo\spiritu santo of the human condition..... !!!!!

What is the remedy for this "virus" of illusion that infects all of mankind?  What is it that is causing many to become free of this virus of illusion that blankets the entire planet?? Awakening.  Becoming aware.  Which is often associated with.... The Light!  Morning.  Dawning.

Other remedies for "killing" virus is chemotherapy.  We all know that chemo is almost as deadly as the virus itself! Chemo damages good, living cells right along with the infected cells!  This "metaphor" for our current human condition is seen in our feeble, useless, further-damaging attempts to fix ourselves thru artificial means... fix ourselves without ever having to turn the light of our soul on, without ever having to awaken to our refusal to SEE, which requires light...!  

For instance, in America, our government is COMPLETELY BROKEN and while we all know this, we keep right on living in the past, voting for "new" leaders just as corrupt as the former ones choosing to somehow believe that these new ones will be the cure.... they will NOT be infected with the system of corruption!  How long will we continue this "chemo" that is causing more and more damage...!?  And at this point, damage to the whole world!

The light!  The truth.  Honesty.  Getting real.  Calling out.  Not backing down.  

Facing fear right in the eyes.

You have a virus.  It is deadly.  You can deal with it now thru the circumstances in your life that the universe is handing you, or you can deal with it later.  The longer you run from the healing light, the more this virus is taking over your soul.... until one day very soon, you will no longer be you.  You will no longer be free to choose.  You will be consumed with darkness.  You will become a zombie.  The living dead.  

Most people would rather endure actual chemo than deal with the truth of their own soul.

Come into the light.

It is your only hope.